Grace Kelly, Lady Diana, Carolyn Bessette . ... Real-Life Cinderellas, for Whom the Shoe Fit.

By Wendy Wasserstein

Cinderellas are likable icons. They never connive. They never plot. They don't even manipulate. They are graceful, innocent magnets drawing their princes inevitably into their field. Their job profile is simple: the shoe fits, and they wear it.

Perhaps because my own shoe size is a very un-Cinderella-like 10 1/2, I knew from an early age that I might be wasting my time waiting for my prince to come someday. Even if my fairy godmother moonlighted at Manolo Blahnik or the Bottega Veneta footwea r boutique, she'd have had a hard time fitting me with a glass pump.

Audio: Romance and the possibility of romance are some of the important things in life for Wendy Wasserstein. (342K or 180K, Credit: Lifetime Television) Leonard Maltin talks about the Grace Kelly story and how the movie "The Swan" paralleled her life. (380K or 198K, Credit: Lifetime Television) Camille Paglia compares Princess Diana to a silent film star who captures her audience through her smile. ( 380K or 198K, Credit: Lifetime Television) Forums: Your comments on this essay are welcome in the Women as Icons forums.

Secretly, I've always had sympathy for the wicked, ugly stepsisters. They could train with Radu 40 hours a week, fly to Beverly Hills for twin laser eye-lifts and pour themselves into $4,000 Versace numbers - and still they would look like wicked, ugly st epsisters. Cinderellas, however, look great even while sweeping the kitchen floor with an animated broom. They are innately perfect. They just need to be rescued. The most romantic Cinderellas are the stars of those riches-to-royalty fairy tales in which the princess grows more and more beautiful, graceful and kind in her elevated position. For instance, when Prince Rainier III of Monaco married Grace Kelly, she was merely Hollywood royalty, "The Country Girl" from Philadelphia, just your average, breath takingly beautiful Academy Award winner. After she moved into her castle, Princess Grace became worthy of her title - concerning herself with social conditions and culture and inspiring not only an entire principality but also a very pricey Herm*s handbag - even if her later years were less enchanted. When she died, in 1982, in an automobile accident, the standard plot line took on an unforeseen element of tragedy.

The tragedy of a more recent riches-to-royalty Cinderella, Diana, Princess of Wales, is far more domestic and oddly commonplace. This Cinderella with the sly smile became a victim of the "And they lived happily ever after . . . . " syndrome, which is c onspicuously silent on the subjects of divorce, finances and demotion.

Another Cinderella, Bessie Wallis Warfield of Baltimore, better known as the Duchess of Windsor, fared better than Diana: she kept her prince. He, on the other hand, lost his empire, creating a new subgenre: the fairy tale in exile.

A more contemporary version of the old tale is the recent secret nuptials of Carolyn Bessette and John Kennedy Jr. Unlike traditional Cinderella romances, this couple dated for years, even had their arguments documented in the scandal sheets, and the e ntire kingdom was definitely not invited to see them tie the knot. In this case, the sanctity of marriage transforms the prince from just the most eligible hunk alive to a very responsible guy with a beauti-ful wife and a political future.

Cinderella stories are, of course, not necessarily limited to fame and fortune. They may also involve spiritual enlightenment - a twist well suited to the 90's. Jemima Goldsmith, the beauteous 21-year-old daughter of the tycoon Sir James Goldsmith, was dining at Kartouche, a watering hole for Sloane Rangers in London, when she was spotted by Imran Khan, the suave Pakistani cricket star with political ambitions. It was kismet at Kartouche - love at first sight. They married. The leggy London heiress, wh o has been known to race horse-drawn carriages for fun, converted to Islam and is now living in Lahore, devoting her life to family and good works. "It would seem that a Western woman's happiness hinges largely on her access to night-clubs, alcohol and re vealing clothes," Jemima wrote in an article explaining the joys of her new life with her prince. "However, as we all know, such superficialities have very little to do with true happiness."

The Cinderella story still holds enormous appeal, despite all the pitfalls, because, as fantasies go, it is both highly optimistic and utterly passive: someday my prince will come along, he'll recognize me for the princess that I am deep down inside an d he'll know exactly what to do. But that's a lot of pressure to put on a prince, and the long-term success rate for this scenario is diminishing. Probably a Cinderella wannabe today would be a lot better off studying the old Lauren Bacall/Marilyn Monroe/ Betty Grable movie, "How to Marry a Millionaire" - these Cinderellas took matters into their own hands. Or she could have a personal consultation with Marla Maples. Marla already had a lot of shoes. She wasn't waiting around for a glass slipper.

Wendy Wasserstein is working on a play called "An American Daughter" for Lincoln Center Theater.